By Will Hall, Baptist Message executive editor
ALEXANDRIA, La. (LBM) – The focus of the Gospel conversation must prioritize eternal redemption – salvation – to the lost. However, it is often the case that a person brings other needs into the conversation that are important to hear and, in some cases, demand immediate action.
Baptist churches record, on average, 25 percent of their annual baptisms because of Vacation Bible School, so it is fitting to start this discussion about special cases by addressing some considerations when Gospel counseling children. Even more so, Christ declared that every person must come to Him “as a little child” to enter the Kingdom of Heaven (Mt. 18:3; Lk. 18:17). Consequently, pointers about counseling children apply whether the child is five or 95.
CHILDREN
Everyone comes to the Father the exact same way – through the Son (John 14:6). There is one plan of salvation. However, explaining that plan might need to take into account a number of considerations — even about our choice of words – so that every individual may understand.
With children, particularly, it is important to put them at ease. Make sure that both of you are sitting so that there is a relatively level eye contact (preferably across from each other). Also, be sure to have someone else present, ideally a parent – but give the child your full attention (don’t look at the parent for an answer nor to carry the conversation).
Use open-ended questions that avoid a “yes” or “no” response. Do not ask “pat” questions that have “canned” answers. You are seeking authentic reactions that reflect a true sense of the child’s heart.
The child may use words and phrases that fit his or her level of development, but regardless should be able to tell you about God’s perfect plan (that all men would live with Him in Heaven, 1 Pet. 3:9), our imperfection (sin, Rom. 3:23), the consequences of disobedience (spiritual death, Rom. 6:23a), His provision for our eternity (Jn. 3:16, Rom. 5:8), and the steps to receive salvation (heartfelt belief and public profession, Rom. 10:9-10).
Some might better understand salvation as a “gift” (Rom. 6:23b) and the step to receive it (via our faith, Eph. 2:8).
Do not expect a seminary-trained explanation but instead listen for a simple heartfelt expression of belief in Jesus as Lord, thankfulness for His forgiveness of sin, and a willingness to follow Him and profess Him to others.
Some specific issues for awareness, include separation anxiety (Mom & Dad are saved and the child wants to be sure to be with them in Heaven); camaraderie (sibling or a friend were saved, and they want to be like them); and sadness for doing something wrong but not godly grief (2 Cor. 7:10).
These are not expressions of repentance to salvation. But such feelings do give you the opportunity to begin an intentional discussion that may lead them to salvation.
For comparison: In adults, “fire insurance” might be a motivation.
ABUSE OR SUICIDE
It is critically important when someone mentions abuse (receiving or committing, including sexual grooming) — wherever it occurs (home, school church, recreation) — that the counselor listens first (be compassionate) and then immediately takes steps to protect the victim (without alerting the abuser.
There are many possible situations, but as a rule of thumb, do all of the following: Contact close family members (who are not the abuser), an authority who supervises the abuser, and the local jurisdiction for law enforcement (must always be done).
Likewise, the victim (such as an abused spouse) might need an immediate safe harbor, and it is important to find a ministry or social service provider that can offer a temporary place to stay — now. Do not allow a victim to return to a situation of potential abuse.
Regarding suicide or self-harm, listen compassionately and notify others who need to know (parents, spouses, pastors, school officials, etc.). Moreover, do not presume that your conversation with this individual has resolved the mental disorder or social situation that is the root of the desperation that the person is experiencing. Instead, take the person to the local emergency room for an immediate evaluation (if the counselee is a minor, get the parent involved). Then, find a Christian counseling ministry that can take this person as a long-term patient.
Importantly, in both cases (abuse and suicide / self-harm), do not neglect the Gospel conversation.
The earthly factors that are negatively shaping a person’s life must receive attention, but the spiritual eternity of each of them must be addressed, too.
VOCATIONS
Pastor
Paul told Timothy that it is a good thing “if a man desires the office of a bishop” (1 Tim. 3:1), and he showed the importance of Christian service by his commitment to starting and nurturing churches as a missionary to Asia and Europe (Acts 13-14; 15:36-18:22; 18:23-21:16).
Remember, you are not the appointing authority, that is the role of the church body. However, you will be offering your observation of the person to the congregation. So, you should ask some key questions.
First, have the person describe his salvation experience (do not presume anyone is saved and always discuss or present the Gospel plan of salvation). Then see if the person has a history of teaching.
Paul indicated the only difference between the qualifications for the office of bishop and the office of deacons was that the man must be “apt to teach” (1 Tim. 3:2). Has he taught a Sunday school class or other small group, or been a VBS teacher? If not, suggest that he start his response to the call to the ministry by taking on a teaching role.
Missionary
Always ask the person to describe his or her salvation experience. This is the first qualification that must be met to serve in the mission field.
But also find out what they have done in the past that might indicate there is a fit with being a missionary. Has the person served with backyard VBS efforts? What about mission trips in the local area or to other states? Has he or she ever been on a short-term mission trip abroad?
ASSURANCE
A Christian may experience godly grief multiple times throughout her or his life. The first time leads to repentance for salvation, and subsequent times lead to repentance for restoration. We must repent to turn to Christ, and we must repent to return to Him.
When a person comes forward questioning their salvation, do not assume they are saved. Engage them with the plan of salvation. If they are under the leadership of the Holy Spirit, this conversation will help them with assurance of their salvation.
If they are saved, you may need only to remind them that we who believe are sealed by the power of the Holy Spirit who is the guarantor of our salvation (Eph. 1: 13-14). Moreover, when we receive Him, believing in His name, we become His children (John 1:12) – an adoption that is irrevocable (John 6:39-40; 10:27-30).
BAPTISM
The Great Commission (Mt. 28:18-20) instructs us to evangelize (lead someone to saving knowledge of Christ), baptize (mentor the new believer to take this step of obedience) and teach (help the Christian mature in his or her walk with Christ).
Baptism is a step that follows salvation, it is an act of obedience (Mt. 10:32-33) that is not a part of salvation (Eph. 2:9). It is a portrayal of the Gospel, describing Christ’s death, burial and resurrection through us (1 Cor. 15:1-4). Moreover, we are called to follow Christ, and we must imitate His example, including being baptized (Mt. 3:13-15).
Importantly, baptism should result only after understanding its importance. But it should not be delayed (Acts 16:31-33). Remember, baptism is not essential for salvation, but it is essential for obedience.
We join the Kingdom through salvation. However, we join the fellowship of His family via baptism (Acts 2:41).
CHRISTIAN MATURITY
Our lives in Christ are meant to be part of a sanctification process. Sanctification is both an event, but it also is an ongoing development of health and growth in Christ.
Jacob is a great example of both points. He was set apart for God at a specific point in his life (Gen. 28:14) and he was changed through his obedience during his many life experiences to the point that God changed his name (Gen. 32:27-31, “Jacob” translates” as “supplanter,” meaning Jacob supplanted God’s will with his own; “Israel” literally means “God prevails” to convey that God rules the man who once supplanted His will).
There are daily steps to spiritual health and growth that every believer needs: prayer (build your relationship with Him); Bible study (know His character and the nature of the relationship He wants with you); worship (Rev. 4:6-11; Heb. 10:25 — simply honor Him); fellowship (build relationships with other believers to sustain your spiritual health and growth); and discipling others (as you grow, witness to the lost and mentor the spiritually young).
