By Rebecca Holloway It was almost a year ago that I wrote “Hope Deferred” about how Evan’s delays made my heart sick. I read that verse again this week in my Bible reading. Again, I prayed and asked God to help my heart not to be sick and to finally “fulfill our dreams” and bring on the “tree of life.” (Proverbs 13:12, NLT) I went about my day and didn't really think about it again until later that afternoon. Then a fresh, new wave of grief fell over me – a sadness that had never even occurred to me before. As I have mentioned before, I was resistant to having a second child because Zach was such a handful when he was a toddler. I supposed all toddlers are. I was just not prepared for all the boyness that came with our boy. Plus, right after Zach’s first birthday, I had lost my mother, so the whole time is clouded by that grief. One of the things that finally broke me down and made me realize we needed another child was that I was an only child. I had wished for a brother or sister to play with, and when my mother died when I was 32 years old, I wished for a brother or sister to help carry the load of what I was facing. Stewart nor I wanted Zach to grow up alone. Last week was Zach’s spring break, and I … [Read more...]