By Bill Warren, NOBTS
Question: What was marriage like in the time of Jesus?
Bill Warren responds: Marriage customs were indeed different in the Roman context, especially compared with our context.
Marriages were based on legal contracts between families with regard to two members of those families.
One ancient marriage contract stipulates that if a dowry has been received from the bride’s family, with the requirement that if the bride is not treated well, or is turned out from the home, or another wife is brought into the home, then the dowry has to be repaid 150 percent.
In exchange, the wife is required not to be absent from the home at night without the consent of her husband and is not to do anything that would be dishonorable for the home, like being with another man, or else she forfeits the dowry.
What was not mentioned in the marriage contract was love. The husband had to provide a decent life – food, shelter, and the like – for his wife; he did not have to love her.
And the wife was to keep peace in the home, with no command to love her husband.
Hopefully love also became part of the marriage, but that was not part of the legal contract.
A sizeable dowry brought greater protection to the woman and provided a means to attract suitors. Since most men would never be able to repay the dowry, they would need to treat their wives in an acceptable manner to avoid having to do so. Because of this, divorce was most common among those who could afford it or those who could find a legal reason to dissolve the marriage.
As to when and how people got married, generally the young girl married between 12 and 15 years of age. For boys, Jews and Romans favored the late teens and early 20s, but Greeks favored the late 20s.
First marriages were almost always arranged by fathers or older males in the families, although second marriages were generally agreed upon by those involved in the marriage.
In light of this, the New Testament teachings are tremendously radical in that husbands are commanded to love their wives, and wives are to keep peace at home by showing respect (versus a divisive attitude) to their husbands (Eph. 5:33).
Paul elevates marriage well beyond what is required by legal marriage contracts, using Christ’s love for the church as a comparison for the type of love that should provide the foundation for a Christian marriage.
Bill Warren, Ph.D., is NOBTS Professor of New Testament and Greek in the Landrum P. Leavell, II, Chair of NT Studies, and Founding Director of the H. Milton Haggard Center of New Testament Textual Studies.