It’s almost a ‘Leave it to Beaver’ life, and the youngsters who live in the cottages of the Louisiana Baptist Children’s Home recognize it’s a special place.
MONROE – It’s
almost a ‘Leave it to Beaver’ life, and the youngsters who live in the
cottages of the Louisiana Baptist Children’s Home recognize it’s a
special place.
But long after
the youngsters become accustomed to sleeping safely every night in
their own bed, and to having three meals a day, and to riding their
very own bicycle, deep-seated pain lingers in their eyes.
One resident
was sexually abused by her father, and blamed for it by her mother. She
was put in a “support” group, but all the other girls in the group had
been abused by stepfathers. How could her very own, real life father do
that to her? How could her mother blame her for seven years of abuse
that started when she was 5? She grappled with these questions at the
same time that she learned about forgiveness, learned about making
choices that benefitted – rather than hurt – her, and learned to love
this Jesus who was loving her through the LBCH family and her church
family.
One young man
cared for his two younger brothers. They’re all at the Children’s Home
now, but he still compulsively checks on them to make sure they’re okay
and that they’ve got food to eat, even as he’s learning “to be a kid
again,” which to him means being able to ride his bike with friends
he’s made in his and other LBCH cottages.
Her parents
don’t come by to see one of the youngest girls, who seems bouncing and
happy in her cottage with brothers and sisters, and a cottage mom and
dad, but in the question she asks a first-time visitor – “When are you
coming back?” – she reveals the sense of abandonment she doesn’t even
know she feels.
A look at life
in two cottages at the Children’s Home illustrates the lifestyle
principles undergirded by God’s love that ever so slowly erase years of
hurt, and that build a foundation for a positive and productive
adulthood.
Ken and Arlene
Hudson care for seven youngsters in their home, if you count a
college-bound high school graduate in the mix. They’ve cared for 77
youngsters over the last 11 years, and have the photos to prove it.
Ken, an amateur woodworker, and Arlene, a scrapbooker, recycled old
window frames into collages of “their kids.”
Consistency is
key to a smoothly-running home, the Hudsons said. Rules come with
explanation that makes them easier to accept. Case in point: If the
Hudsons take any of their youngsters any place, they return with them;
the youngsters are not allowed to go off with another family. And their
youngsters aren’t allowed to go to homes of their off-campus friends
until after the family and home has been cleared by LBCH with a
background check.
“We’re responsible for these kids,” Arlene Hudson said. “We take that very seriously.”
Upon arrival at the Hudson home, a youngster is given a daily chore, which he/she does as long as he/she stays there.
The more
continuous the routine, the better it is for the youngster, Arlene
Hudson explained. Also, she added, the more a child does something, the
better he/she gets at it, and the satisfaction of a job well done helps
build a solid sense of self-esteem.
At the Hudson
home – and all co-ed cottages at the Children’s Home – the front door
opens to a front parlor. Beyond it, hallways go off in two directions.
One hall is for boys; the other, for girls. Boys are not allowed to go
down the girls’ hallway; girls are not allowed to go down the boys’
hallway.
A huge country kitchen with table big enough for 12 people to sit comfortably sets off to one side.
Hallways stretch long enough to race cars or to play in a make-believe village occupied by chariot-pulling unicorns.
Rooms are
cleaned and beds made before breakfast each school day, but get a more
lived-in look as summertime days go by. Some youngsters sleep two to a
room; some have a room to him/herself. All the rooms feature a plethora
of stuffed animals, and on each bed, a quilt handmade by Louisiana
Baptists to wrap up in when an extra hug is needed.
The Hudson
family watches tv and plays games or lifts weights in a big room
flanked by the hallways. Each youngster in rotation manages the remote
control for one day. That rule cuts down on squabbles.
Ken and Arlene
have their own quarters in the cottage, but tend to go to guest housing
on campus the two nights a week they’re off-duty. A relief worker has
her own room. Arlene also gets some help cooking. Ken helps with
maintenance chores during the day; Arlene just hangs – available should
any youngster want to talk, need assistance, or feel comforted because
an adult is nearby.
Dale and
Harriet Stone’s cottage is a bit different. They have teenage girls.
Seven of them – until Maddy returned to her home a couple of
weeks ago, after spending a school year in what’s known as Mobley
Cottage.
“She was ready,” Harriet Stone said. “She had a real breakthrough, and started making good choices for herself.”
Dale and
Harriet Stone were named “Cottage Parents of the Year,” by the LBCH
staff. The girls in their home one recent evening explained why the
Stones received that recognition from their peers.
“They
understand a lot more about us and what we’re going through. … They
take time to do for us. … They show us what love is all about. … They
make it all [life] worthwhile,” were among several fast-pitch responses.
“It helped me a
lot to be here,” Carmen said. “I didn’t have a lot of rules and
discipline. They showed me the advantage of that. I get a lot more
done, now!”
What made the
difference for her, Lacey said, was that Harriet and Dale Stone made
her feel they cared about her and what happened to her.
“They think
school is more important than other things, and at home, everything is
more important than school,” Lacey said. “They’ve taught us about being
a family, and that’s important for when we get married and have kids of
our own.”
Mobley Cottage
residents spend stay-at-a-friend’s-beach house vacations together as a
family. Dale is teaching three of them to drive in his Jeep. They’ve
gone as a family to see the Passion Play in Branson, Mo.
And when they
squabble, as teenage girls will, Harriet sets them in kitchen chairs,
facing each other, knees touching and holding hands until they resolve
their differences.
“They might start by glaring at each other, but pretty soon they’re giggling,” Harriet said.
At the
Louisiana Baptist Children’s Home, the youngsters learn respect for
themselves and others by the gentle guidance of their cottage parents.
They learn to be responsible by doing chores around the house and at
church, and by working hard to get the best possible grades. And they
learn how to live in relationship with others – with God, their house
mates, and with their cottage parents and teachers.
Rewards for the
acquisition of these positive character traits comes each spring, with
the annual children’s home awards banquet. At the Hudson home awards
plaques hang on the walls with the window pane collages. At the Stone
home, the awards are displayed in each girl’s room.
Tommy Frost, a
14-year LBCH staff member and now director of campus life – he leads
the Wednesday evening chapel service in addition to a multitude of
other duties – explained how he has determined the success year by year
of the Children’s Home ministry.
“When I hear a
child say what I would say if I were there, then I’d say we’re
succeeding,” Frost said. “If he or she is respectful, responsible and
properly relating to their world, then I’d say we’re succeeding.”
Messengers to
the Louisiana Baptist Convention annual meeting last November approved
a special offering for the Children’s Home in June. This series of
articles about the Children’s Home is to help focus attention on the
Children’s Home, its needs and its effectiveness.
“This past year
the Home ministered to 342 children and their families through its
residential ministries,” Executive Director Perry Hancock reported at
the annual meeting. “In that same period God continued to use the
Granberry Counseling Centers and Sellers Maternity Ministries to change
and save lives. Granberry served almost 1,000 new clients and Sellers
provided crisis pregnancy counseling and care for 92 young ladies.”
Sixteen youngsters made professions of faith and were baptized, Hancock added.
“Your LBCH
staff is committed to showing and telling the children and families
about God’s great love in Christ,” Hancock said. “Thank you Louisiana
Baptists for having that same commitment and for keeping God’s children
first.”