John Wilks lost the argument and gained a great life, he says.
PINEVILLE – John Wilks lost the argument and gained a great life, he says.
A Cajun by birth, the steelworker moved to Pineville 15 years ago from Sunset, near Lafayette, for his version of the American dream.
“I wanted to find the right woman and raise a family and live happily ever after,” Wilks said in a recent interview in the home he shares with his wife of 14 years and two half-grown sons. “I figured that would take two incomes.”
He met a girl – not the right one – but one night in conversation she told him how she became a Christian, and he made the same choice, even though he’d gone to a Catholic church all his life to that point.
He bought a house because his father told him to not throw away his money on rent, and the girl next door – an elementary school teacher – brought over blueberry muffins as a “welcome to the neighborhood” gift.
She was a Christian, pretty, college-educated, and her choice of a career showed she liked kids, he mentally tallied. With both their incomes, they’d have a good life, he figured.
No way, she said.
“God told me not to start that trap of being in a two-income family,” said Debbie Wilks. She had grown up in a pastor’s home and saw her mother’s income become more and more essential to the family, until her mother became financially unable to quit her job.
John and Debbie argued. She won.
“God showed me that I really needed to trust in Him and His will,” John said. “He had something better planned for me than what I’d been thinking of.”
The couple married in July 1995.
“I lost the argument but I won a great family,” John said. “God gave me a godly woman for a wife and two wonderful boys.”
John, trained as a draftsman/CAD operator, works a 6 a.m. to 4 p.m. day at Hayes Manufacturing. At home he plays baseball with Jonah, and for four years did soccer with Andrew.
Now Andrew – as a seventh-grader too old for Upward Soccer at Kingsville Baptist in Pineville – helps his dad plant flowers and shrubs in their spacious yard.
At night – every night – the boys go over their Bible Drill memorization with their dad.
“It’s a blessing to know you can memorize scripture,” John Wilks said. “I didn’t have that, growing up.”
When they started doing Bible Drill, it was to give their firstborn an opportunity to put his memorization skills to good use. Today, they also know about the scholarships offered by Louisiana College: $4,500 a year for four years, to the first-place winner; $3,500/year for second place; $2,500/year for third place.
“I love my boys,” John said. “I want them to be good Christian men with a good education, who respect their elder folks and are polite.
“I would like them to go to a really good college they would like, get a good career and find the right woman,’ John added. “We’ve talked about marriage, that they need to pray for them [their someday wives], that she is brought up in a good Christian home. We’ve also talked about premarital sex and the complications that come from it. It can mess up the rest of their lives.”
His responsibility as his sons’ father is to be there for them, to give positive encouragement, to listen to them, to show them the right path – what’s right and what’s not, John said.
“My boys are a gift from God,” John said. His responsibility to his wife: “To provide financially, to be there emotionally by listening, and to encourage spiritually. I am also responsible to help with the boys.”
It’s not always easy to be a stay-at-home mom, Debbie acknowledged, especially one with the added responsibility of the education of her sons.
She reads Christian fiction and authors such as Max Lucado for stress relief, and gets out once a month for girl time.
“I needed to remember that I’m more than just a mom,” said Debbie, who sells jewelry on the side. But being at home with her boys is a priority and a commitment, she’s quick to add.
“If God tells you to do it [stay at home with your children], He doesn’t want you to figure out how to do it,” Debbie said. “He just wants you to step out in faith and trust him.
“You do need ‘me’ time,” she continued. “It’s important to find time for yourself on a regular basis. Then you can come back and be a better wife.”
Her responsibilities with her sons include teaching them how to be good citizens, human beings and Christian men, she said. About her husband:
“I think we should be a team and handle together whatever the world gives us. To be there for each other.”
The Wilks are members at Trinity Pineville, where John works with Bible Drill and Awanas. Debbie is in the handbell choir and coordinates trips for women’s conferences.